saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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