i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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