the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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