Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
