we have officially lost it.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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