his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
