i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Randomize
