so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
