I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
