shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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