We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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