I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
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I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
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You made out with two different species that night
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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