bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
i am craving dick and cupcakes
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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