Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize