she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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