I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
