...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
