Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Randomize
