can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
