There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
