can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
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