some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Congratulations! We have a period
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