We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize