Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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