I skipped work to stalk him.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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