dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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