I hate all girls vehemently.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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