I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
When did angry sex become our thing?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
