Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
