So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
