I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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