she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
