I cannot find my penis.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
