its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
