Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
