seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
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