I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
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so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
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Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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