Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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