so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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