she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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