I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
