Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
