well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
