You can't special order awesome
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
