Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize