the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
