she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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