need another drink. this is the easiest way
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
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