just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
