if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
