i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
