i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i would punch a child for taco bell
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
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