Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Randomize
