are you still at the devil's house?
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
