i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
