mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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