paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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