love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
