its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
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He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
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I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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