Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
