She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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