I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
