Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
