I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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