Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
