i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
